It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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