what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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