Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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