Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
