Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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