My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
