I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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