she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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