Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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