Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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