haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
