does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
