i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
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