....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
