one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Bang-toberfest begins!!
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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