good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
