You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm at about main and main street
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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