Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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