after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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