The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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