The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
