I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
