You can't motorboat a personality
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
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