Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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