Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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