fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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