you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
