everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
