my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She even gives head with a lisp.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
i need to put some appletini on your dick
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
