i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
