Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i came on her dog
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
