I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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