THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
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