if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
