I'm lost and stupid without you.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I touched a dick in church today
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
