Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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