You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
