proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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