I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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