I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
