it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
