John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Ketchup is God's man juice
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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