How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
