if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
