is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
