it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
