The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
