Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
It was a blind-side dick pic.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
