what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
