is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
