I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
