So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
