Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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