Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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